blogblock_simpleconnectionsEver since launching our Kids Need Connections campaign last spring, we’ve had countless discussions with service providers, families and staff about how to build the connections that we know are so critical for happy, healthy and safe children.

One of the tools we’ve developed is a series of Children’s Stories that Build Resiliency, a list of children’s books with questions to help adults and children connect and engage in discussions to build resiliency.  And we often hear from child welfare professionals about other games, workshops and more that can help build those connections as well.

But a recent blog post — from a business website, of all places — reminded us that making a connection can often be so SIMPLE.  Here are some of our favorites (with a few notes from us on how it might apply to children, too!)

[Re-posted from Young Entrepreneur Council and wework.com: "10 Habits of People Who Connect With Anyone"]

#1 Smile. This is by far the fastest way in the world to create a connection.

#4 Be genuine. There is only one type of connection — one you genuinely care about.

#6 Pay attention. The easiest way to be interesting is to be interested. Find excitement in what you can learn from others. Hear what they say. Listen and learn about what matters to them — not so you can say something back as soon as possible, but so you can get a window into their world. People (especially kids!) want to tell their story. Be the person excited to hear it (or they’ll stop trying to tell it to you).

#8 Be open to conversation. Embrace conversation with those around you. (Be a safe, open place for your kids to come when they want to talk.)

# 10 Be uniquely YOU. Be vulnerable and open. Share your real story and goals…Talking about the weather does not build connection. Being real does. (Sharing your feelings and being open with your kids is a GREAT way to make them feel cherished and trusted.)

You can read all 10 tips from the original blog post on wework.com here.

How will you be building connections with kids this week?

SCAN’s Public Education team spent time this summer developing a new page on SCAN’s website specifically for the faith community. Why? Because they have an important connection to the children and parents in our communities–and they are often in unique positions to safely provide support, compassion and love. We hope to connect with as many faith groups of all kinds as possible in the coming months, giving them the tools and resources to help them strengthen families and protect children in their congregations and beyond.

blogblock_faithgroupsHere are just a few of the tools and suggestions we provide to faith groups:

  • Share the Kids Need Connections campaign with your Faith Community here.
  • Share SCAN’s Parent Resource Center here.
  • Invite a SCAN Spokesperson to your Faith Community via our Speakers Bureau here.
  • Become a ‘Pinwheel Partner’ for Child Abuse Prevention Month in April here.
  • Schedule a Training to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse here.

Can you think of other resources that might be helpful for faith groups? Comment below or send us an email. And be sure to visit  our Faith-Based Resources page and download the Faith-Based Resources flyer to share. Every connection with a local faith group means more chances to support prevention and strengthen families in Northern Virginia. Help us build new connections!

 

WORDS (noun) /wərd / ~ a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning

blogblock_sanduskyAfter watching the Matthew Sandusky and Oprah Winfrey interview (you can watch some of it here, along with thoughts from the D2L blog), it is clear that one of the key things missing in young Matt Sandusky’s life was WORDS.  No one had given him the WORDS to label his body.  No one had given him the WORDS to say NO to unwanted advances from an adult.  No one had given him the WORDS to describe his emotions and the confusion he was feeling when an adult was sexually abusing him.  And no one used their WORDS to speak up when they thought something wasn’t right in his relationship with Jerry Sandusky or when they witnessed sexual abuse happening.   There was one person who had WORDS though – Jerry Sandusky himself.  He had the words to instill fear in Matt that if he spoke up or told someone what was happening then the police would take him away and bad things would happen to him.

All Matt knew was that he came from a poor and broken family and he so desperately wanted a father in his life.  He wanted it so badly that he was willing to live through the sexual abuse and justify it in his young mind.  This is no excuse though.  There are many adults who came in and out of Matt’s life that could have given him the WORDS to feel empowered, it didn’t have to be from a mother and father who failed him.  There were many chances for healthy and safe child-adult connections that simply did not happen.

Make sure you know the 5 Steps to Protecting Children:

Step 1: Learn the Facts

Step 2: Minimize Opportunity

Step 3: Talk About It

Step 4: Recognize the Signs

Step 5: React Responsibly

WORDS are powerful.  Let’s make sure that every child has the WORDS they need to grow up safe, healthy, and happy.

- Tracy Leonard

p.s. Interested in learning more about SCAN’s work with Darkness to Light and how we provide trainings in child sexual abuse prevention across Northern Virginia? Please contact me today: 703-820-9001.

 

blogblock_supervisionIt’s a question we often hear from parents and caregivers–when is it “okay” to leave my child at home alone? Busy schedules, challenges with after-school care and so much more often make this a tough decision. Simply put, there is no easy answer. Every child is different, regardless of age. Every home situation is different, regardless of location or neighbors. And every jurisdiction is different in our area when it comes to regulations and guidelines.

We suggest that parents begin talking about and preparing for a child to be left alone before a decision has to be made. There is no magic number when a child reaches the perfect age to be left unsupervised, so even community guidelines (which often share ages from 10-15 as a safe range in particular instances) aren’t always applicable or safe. It’s often best to — when a child is responsible enough and open to the idea — begin slowly, leaving him or her alone for gradually longer periods of time (starting with as little as 15 minutes.)

To help families have this discussion, we recommend visiting the Supervision Guidelines page on our Parent Resource Center, where you can find a fact sheet in English and Spanish, as well as links to local jurisdictions for their resources and support.

What is your experience with child supervision guidelines? What is helpful and/or harmful?  Are there other tools and resources we should be sharing with families? Please comment below to share.

 

Today we welcome Hon. Tim Lovain as a guest blogger to share his experience working on an initiative to be intentional as a community when it comes to planning for and supporting the children of Alexandria, where he is a Councilman.

Photo via Patch.com

Photo via Patch.com

In June, the Alexandria City Council and the Alexandria School Board approved the Children and Youth Master Plan for the City of Alexandria.  The Master Plan is the result of hundreds of hours of discussions within the Alexandria community over many months.  It provides a blueprint for Alexandria as it seeks to improve outcomes for children, youth and families in our community.  The Plan’s Vision is that “All of Alexandria’s children and youth can succeed today and tomorrow”.  It sets five goals to meet that vision, multiple strategies to accomplish those goals and specific sets of action steps to support those strategies.

This Master Plan also supports SCAN’s efforts.

Its very first goal is that “every child will be physically safe and healthy”.  Its first strategy is to “support the related efforts of public and private entities to improve the health, wellness and safety of children, youth and families”.  It prescribes an action step to “support the efforts of organizations working to decrease and mitigate the effects of child abuse and exposure to violence, and to improve the safety of environments for children”.

I was proud to be a member of the Alexandria Children, Youth and Families Collaborative Commission that produced the initial draft of this Master Plan, and I was pleased to help shepherd it through to approval by City Council.  I believe that it will strengthen our community’s efforts to help our children and youth thrive and will increase appreciation and support for the critical work of SCAN and other organizations in that effort.

Living in a community where children are considered a priority is a gift, and also a responsibility– to do exemplary work in the prevention of child abuse, to lift up children and families in new, innovative ways, and to share our experiences and resources with others.

I’m proud to be a part of it all.

- Tim Lovain, SCAN Board Member
City Councilman, City of Alexandria

 

 

IOM_childabuseneglect_infographicThe research on child abuse and neglect continues to develop every year. The Institute of Medicine (IOM) and National Research Council (NRC) recently released an update to a 1993 report on the state of child welfare research. The new report, New Directions in Child Abuse and Neglect Research, focuses on child abuse and neglect as a serious public health issue and examines the research advances over the last 20 years, as well as remaining gaps in knowledge.

A great infographic summarizing the report can be found here. Here are the key points from a recent report webinar:

  • Neurological development is a new area of research that has blossomed in recent years. Child abuse and neglect can literally change parts of a child’s brain and its functioning, especially if the abuse occurs during certain critical periods, is severe and lasts a long time. Researchers noted some children fare better than others as a result of differences in resilience. SCAN is working to build resilience in children and families throughout Northern Virginia through our Kids Need Connections efforts.
  • Researchers noted that physical abuse and sexual abuse have fallen considerably over the last two decades, but there is no evidence of a decline in neglect. Why are different types of abuse and neglect following different patterns? The researchers called for more long-term research to figure out why this trend is developing and how we can reduce neglect more effectively.
  • Over last 20 years, we’ve learned a great deal more about promising programs to help prevent abuse and neglect. Approaches like early home visiting, parenting programs and public awareness campaigns can all make a difference. We’ve also learned more about how to respond to abuse victims, such as with trauma-focused therapies and practice.
  • From a policy perspective, many child abuse and neglect laws are not based on research and little evaluation has been done on the impact of policies like differential response, mandated reporter changes and safe haven laws. The report identifies four areas to look to in developing a coordinated research approach: a national strategic plan, a national surveillance system, a new generation of researchers, and changes in federal and state programmatic and policy response. The researchers also outline questions to guide future research.

While the report perhaps raises as many questions as it answers, SCAN is thrilled to see the continued progress of child abuse and neglect research, and we look forward to continue using the results to guide our work with children, families and communities moving forward.

- Lindsay Ferrer

blogblock_talkaboutCSAMany of us will roll our eyes or comment on how hard it was when we were teenagers, but can you fathom being a teenager now?  In an age where there are little to no expectations of privacy, where your personal information is readily available, and where the things you say or do can be recalled at the mere internet search of your name?  Preteens and teens very rarely will ask for help or advice, but as adults in our communities, it is our responsibility to help keep them safe.  Having age-appropriate discussions on tough topics such as sexual abuse, is not only a necessity, it could save someone’s life.

It is even more important to model healthy adult relationships.  A person’s feelings should never be the focus of a joke.

This week we’re sharing an important post from our friends at Darkness to Light (D2L), whom we’re proud to work with as a Partner in Prevention:

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We must help teens understand the seriousness of child sexual abuse.”
Originally posted by Darkness to Light on July 11th

Excerpted from THINKPROGRESS

In an incident making national headlines, a 16-year-old girl from Texas says that photos of her unconscious body went viral online after she was drugged and raped at a party with her fellow high schoolers. But the victim isn’t backing down. She’s speaking out about what happened to her, telling her story to local press and asking to be identified as Jada.

After other teens started mocking her online — sharing images of themselves splayed out on the floor in the same pose as Jada’s unconscious body under the hashtag #jadapose — the victim decided to speak out. She sat down with local outlet KHOU 11 to tell her side. “I’m just angry,” Jada said.

According to Jada, she was invited to a party at a fellow high schooler’s house. The boy who was hosting the party gave her a drink that she believes was spiked with a drug that made her lose consciousness. She passed out and doesn’t remember what happened next. But then she started seeing evidence of her sexual assault circulated online, and some of her peers started texting her to ask her if she was okay.

Then, #jadapose started turning her rape into a joke. When the Houston Press reached out to one of the individuals who shared a popular #jadapose photo, he said that he didn’t personally know Jada and was simply “bored at 1 a.m. and decided to wake up my (Twitter timeline).”

Jada decided to share her name and her story with the press because she has nothing to hide anymore. “Everybody has already seen my face and my body,” she said, “but that’s not what I am and who I am.” Nonetheless, the social media firestorm has taken a toll on her. She says she now wants to be homeschooled.

The Houston police is currently investigating Jada’s allegations, and no arrests have yet been made.

OUR TAKE

40% of child sexual abuse is by older or more powerful youth. In this instance, the alleged abuse was followed by a complete breakdown of basic decency. Instead of receiving support, the victim was mocked and pictures were shared on social media, destroying any expectation of anonymity for a minor and adding further trauma to an already devastating situation.

A culture that mocks victims and rape in this case also allowed the alleged abuser to have free say on the matter – granting him rein to publicly call Jada names like “snitch” and “hoe.”

This horrifying example shows exactly why it’s so important to have regular, age-appropriate talks with kids and teens about boundaries, appropriate behavior on and offline, and sexual abuse. Today’s definition and expectation of privacy is much, much different than it was even 10 years ago. Children must be taught from a young age that rape jokes, rape photos, and anything else pertaining to the sexual violation of another person are not funny. They need to know the harm that can be done by sharing jokes and pictures that mock abuse or abuse victims.

In many cases, youth don’t understand the implications of what they’re doing. That is why it is up to us as adults to educate them on what is right.

We cannot continue to allow this to happen.

 

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Ready to prevent child sexual abuse here in our community?

 

- Tracy Leonard
tleonard@scanva.org

blogblock_clockOne of the constant challenges of parenting today is time management. Families have busy schedules, often juggling multiple jobs and endless activities, and can really struggle to spend quality time together.

How can we better support parents in their efforts to connect with their kids while still handling the stress and schedule of daily life? Here are 4 key issues we address with parents (and links to additional resources on our Parent Resource Center) that can help:

  • It is possible to balance parenthood and work. It’s not always (never?) easy, but there are steps you can take that 1.) put parenting first, and 2.) tackle everything else based on that priority. Our Balancing Parenthood & Work page has a list of these steps along with encouragement for the overwhelmed parent.
  • Develop your family’s routine. We can’t entirely avoid stress from time to time, and that’s why it is so important to develop family routines. Having a general schedule in place each day helps children feel safe and secure, and can be incredibly helpful in making sure families have quality time (dinner around the table, reading books at night, etc.) every day, even if it’s just 15 consistent minutes each day. The Importance of Routines should not be underestimated.
  • Understand what family stress is, and what it can do. If a parent is feeling stressed, their children are most likely feeling the effects. Family Stress can wreak havoc on quality time together, making healthy communication and positive discipline — keys to connecting — next to impossible.
  • Time together doesn’t have to be perfect. Family life is messy and hard and that’s okay. We work to help parents understand that just being there is the first, most important step. If a parent struggles with what to do in that time, we share The Power of Play — a great page with simple suggestions of activities, based on children’s ages and interests.

Since the launch of our Kids Need Connections campaign, we’ve talked a lot about connecting with kids to build their resiliency. And the first step always has to be to make the time to connect.

It’s about time.

 

 

resources_blogblockWe’re on the hunt for your favorite websites, online libraries, resource centers and more that can help child and family welfare advocates. We’ve dedicated a page here on the blog for collecting links to these valuable online resources,  and readers can continue to share their finds in the comments section so we can add them to the list.

Some of our go-to sites include the Child Welfare Information Gateway and National Children’s Advocacy Center Child Abuse Library Online (CALiO).

How about YOU? Where do you go for child welfare news, fact sheets, tools and more? Please comment below so we can share with our audience!

 

2014_06_preKMany of us support pre-kindergarten programs because they help children enter kindergarten more prepared and give parents the flexibility to work and support their families. But there is another reason child abuse prevention advocates should support pre-k:

The research shows that a high-quality pre-kindergarten (pre-k) program with a strong parent coaching component can actually help prevent child abuse and neglect.

Since the 1960s, the Chicago Child-Parent Centers (CPC) preschool program has been operating in low-income Chicago neighborhoods. The program offers pre-k for children beginning at age 3, in addition to a strong focus on parenting support. Each center has a staffed parent-resource room as well as staff members who connect families with resources to address their needs. Parents are required to participate at school and staff members also do home visits.

In high-quality, long term follow-up studies, researchers found that children in the CPC program were half as likely to experience repeated abuse or neglect and nearly half as likely to be placed in out-of-home placements like foster care, compared to similar children not in the program. (Reynolds et al., 2007) These are huge impacts, especially for a program that is not focused on child abuse prevention.

So, how are we doing on providing access to high-quality pre-k in Virginia? There is still a lot of room for improvement! The Virginia Preschool Initiative (VPI) serves about 17 percent of the state’s 4-year-olds, which is progress over the 6 percent served in 2003. While many other children are served by Head Start or private preschool programs, too many Virginia children still do not have access to a high-quality pre-k program.

Research shows that pre-k programs must be high-quality to get strong outcomes for children. VPI meets 6 of 10 quality benchmarks measured by the National Institute for Early Education Research. In addition, state funding per child has decreased each of the last 3 years. As a result, Virginia ranks 26th in the nation on access for 4-year-olds and 23rd in the nation on state spending on pre-k.

To adequately serve our most vulnerable children and potentially prevent child abuse, Virginia will need to continue investing in high-quality pre-kindergarten programs.

So how can we make a difference? SCAN is planning an Advocacy Day this November, a special opportunity to join a group of advocates in voicing our concerns and commitment to improving the resources and supports — like Pre-K — that strengthen families and ensure opportunities for our youngest members. Stay tuned for a date and details later this summer.

- Lindsay Ferrer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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SCAN works to build hope for children and families in Northern Virginia. This blog brings child welfare professionals the current trends and valuable resources that will support their work to prevent child abuse and strengthen families in Northern Virginia and beyond.

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